Written, directed, and produced by David Meadows

(A big airport somewhere in the United States. The scene opens with a jet touching down on the runway. It taxis to a stop. The big steps are wheeled up to it and the door opens. JON, IAN, ROGER, BIG IAN, and THE VILLAIN IN BLACK (TVIB) emerge.)

(Zoom in on the band.)

ROGER: Blimey chaps, look at that!

IAN: Groovy!

JON: My word!

TVIB: At last, a country with taste and sophistication!

BIG IAN: *burp* 'scuse me. Duty free.

(The camera pans round to show what our heroes can see -- a huge throng of screaming, cheering rock fans! The airport is a sea of denim and leather, held back by police and crash barriers.)

BIG IAN: They love us! Come on guys, let's go and meet the fans!

(They make their way down the steps, smiling and waving to the crowd. As they walk across the tarmac, we see (but they don't) another jet touching down behind them. It had ZED LEPPELIN painted on the side in big letters. It stops, steps are pushed up, and JIMMY, ROBERT, JOHN, and BONZO emerge. The crowd goes wild.)

ROGER: Will you just listen to them! I'm gonna love the USA!

JON: This will be our best tour ever!

(They walk past the screaming throngs, still waving and smiling, still not noticing the four people behind them.)

FEMALE FAN #1 (screaming): Robeeeeert!!!! I want to have your baaaabyyyyy!!!!!!!

(ROGER waves.)

ROGER: Cheers, love, but it's "Roger".

(BIG IAN signs autographs for a couple of fans, then moves on.)

FAN #2: Who was that?

FAN #3: Dunno. A roadie I think.

(Eventually, the band gets inside the terminal building. Remarkably (or not, depending on whether you've got the joke yet), we can still hear fans screaming outside -- if anything, it's even louder!)

TVIB: Oh yes, America, you will be mine... muah-...

BIG IAN: "Ours"

TVIB: Of course... "ours"... muah-hahahahahaha

(FADE OUT on them walking away from us.)

Episode 14